Dilemma

I'm in a dilemma. You know those things where whatever you do something is going to go wrong? Yup. That one.

I have been variously accused of being intelligent, not too bad looking and generally even in temper. Some people like that. However I cannot really say I'm even in temper. I'm just able to hide it more. People thus find it easy to be with me and, because of my rather eccentric ways, fun to be with. But I do lose it. And bad.

So where is the dilemma you may ask?

What do I do when I really feel something. It is not in my usual nature to show it. It is also not in my usual nature to confront people. However this can fester into an ugly wound, creating one sided tension and making me feel like I'd want to take off somewhere alone, or simply avoid some people. Not a good thing since they do not know about this.

If they'd know I might lose a nice relationship, and if they don't I might also lose a nice relationship. I need the service, the client supplier relationship and the pseudo friendship that tends to be made around these relationships. And yet I'll rather not.

So do I, or do I?